How Communication Blunders Destroy Company Culture

Lars Nielsen (00:01.822) Welcome back to This is where we dissect the workplace nightmares that keeps us up at night. Today, we are diving deep into a topic that affects every single organization. Communication breakdowns. We have all been there. Mixed signals, unclear messaging and the chaos that follows. Joining me today, as always, to untangle this mess is Paulina, company culture expert and the co-host from the Culture Code Foundation. Paulina, welcome. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (00:46.064) Thank you so much, Lars. It's great to be here as always. And you're absolutely right. And you're absolutely right, Lars. Communication is the lifeblood of any organization. And when it does go wrong, consequences can be dire. Lars Nielsen (00:50.454) Yes, another Friday at the microphone. Lars Nielsen (01:08.28) Yeah, and like I said in the intro, think we have all, everybody has been there at some point in their career, right? Okay, Paulina. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (01:14.662) Yep. And as always, the most important part about it is learn from your mistakes. Lars Nielsen (01:22.801) yeah, we need to get a t-shirt saying that, right? Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (01:27.403) Yeah, that's a good idea. Lars Nielsen (01:29.582) Paulina, let's start with the basics here. What are some of the most common communication errors you see in companies? Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (01:39.142) I would say things that are most common are probably lack of clarity, lack of consistency in like communicating inconsistently across departments or even within the same team and for sure lack of empathy. And all of these three things can lead to obviously misunderstanding, confusion, mistrust and low morale. Lars Nielsen (02:12.63) I like that you mention lack of empathy. Because one thing that I just did a mental note on when you said it, and we need to take that in another episode, is actually sometimes people are overly empathic to the employees. I've tried that a couple of times, which also can be very toxic. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (02:36.314) That can be very toxic. That's a really, really great topic. Let's make absolutely, let's take and make a full episode out of this. because I think we've said it before, right? The kind of culture that we promote in this podcast or the kind of behavior with each other we promote in this podcast. It's not about, smushy soft, all about feelings thing. It's also about efficiency, productivity and, Lars Nielsen (02:43.71) Yes. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (03:05.114) performance, right? And so you need, there are barriers in each direction and there are, there are taking things over the top. So yes, great topic. We'll park that. Lars Nielsen (03:06.444) Mm-hmm. Lars Nielsen (03:17.728) We'll park that for now. Okay, let's imagine a scenario. A company announces a major reconstruction with email or via email with no prior warning or context. What consequences might this have? And I have tried that. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (03:37.286) Do you mean reconstruction or restructuring like mass layoffs? No word. Lars Nielsen (03:40.669) restructuring. sorry. It's again, is not our mother tongue, Restructuring. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (03:46.362) Fair enough, but since we're talking about, and since we're talking about communication, just thought I'd clear it up. Okay. So, Jesus, just, just the sheer amount of stories that I've seen and heard about badly communicated mass layoffs, I think could fill libraries. You can do so many things wrong and. Lars Nielsen (03:53.666) Perfect example. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (04:12.102) To be really fair, I don't think there is really good way to communicate a mass layoff, but there are surely better ways and there are ways that are truly explicable. um, so hypothetically, hypothetically, if you don't do it well, and if you don't give prior warnings or kind of prepare the organization that change is coming, uh, the result can be widespread panic. and a huge drop in employee morale and therefore also performance, obviously, because we think we've said this before, employee morale, employee performance are very tightly connected. So if you have a drop in the one, you will see a drop in the other. And for sure it will create an atmosphere of uncertainty, of fear, and you will lose trust in leadership as well. Lars Nielsen (04:48.973) Mm-hmm. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (05:05.057) And what I also want to mention, if you announce something like that in an email, that is especially difficult because an email is super easy to forward. Right. And, and I have seen cases where really pissed off employees actually forwarded such internal communication to the media. And that obviously is a huge loss on reputation, for the company. So, Lars Nielsen (05:14.926) Mm-hmm. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (05:33.614) And besides from that, I personally do prefer personal communication over emails when it comes down to really sensitive topics every day. Lars Nielsen (05:44.398) So with that in mind, what are the key elements of effective communication in a company? Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (05:52.192) for me, that very, very much depends on the topic and on the circle of people you want to address. so I would always say it's crucial to tailor your communication to different audiences within the organization. a good rule of thumb for me personally, for good communication is be as transparent as you can be. Use easy and clear language and offer space for questions and clarifications. Lars Nielsen (06:24.568) That is good knowledge to have out there. And I completely agree with you. I would always prefer that people just straightforward. Because if they're kind of trying to wrap things up or they're not being completely clear, me personally, I will just always sit there with like a nut in my stomach, right? You know, like, what are they going to do next? Will I be the next one to be laid off or something like that? Right. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (06:45.498) Mm-hmm. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (06:51.246) Yeah, for sure. For sure. Lars Nielsen (06:52.906) And yeah, that is not good for my morale at least. I don't work really well with that kind of pressure. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (07:00.198) And nobody does. mean, there is positive pressure. But if pressure turns or brings you into the fear zone, and we've talked about this before, that's just not doing any good things for anyone. Let's be real. Lars Nielsen (07:02.348) Nope. Lars Nielsen (07:18.357) Nope. Okay, so Paulina, many companies, believe they communicate really well. And I think we have both heard and worked in places where they think that, but they very often fail. What are the common myths you would like to debunk about communication or company communication? Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (07:22.352) Cough cough Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (07:38.31) I think the, the topic that I'd like, I'd really like to debunk is that you've communicated things once you can, you can just expect people to follow up on it. Right. And so you just have to say once and then it's done and that's simply not true. consistency and follow up or follow through is also super, super relevant. So, In the fact of communication, should always set like deadlines and clear to do's and clear responsibilities and then make sure that you, after giving space for questions and clarifications, that you then follow through on those deadlines and the to do's because otherwise things get lost in the reality of work life. Right. And Lars Nielsen (08:32.717) Mm-hmm. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (08:36.206) Also just really make sure that you drill down your communication to the essentials. Like what I said before, clarity of message and clear and easy language is just so, so crucial. because the clearer, the shorter, the more concise the message is, the easier it will be to follow up on it. And with message, I just, I don't just mean written messages. I also mean. anything you communicate verbally. And, sure. Lars Nielsen (09:07.438) So I got a follow up question to that one because you and I, we both come from sales and we know that in a good sales call, it's very crucial to get kind of the potential clients acceptance that they actually understood like everything you said in the call and do you have any other questions and so on. So one thing is the communication that you as a leader give Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (09:14.254) Yes. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (09:28.634) Mm-hmm. Lars Nielsen (09:36.758) to the employees, but isn't it also the same that you get that kind of confirmation back that they have understood the message and they are okay with it or if they have any other questions and so on. So it's just not a one-way street, right? Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (09:55.366) Absolutely. And I love that you brought this up because I completely forgot one of my major things when it comes to communication in organizations. Ask questions. Like seriously, honestly, don't just tell people things, ask more questions and ask better questions. And that goes for sales and that goes for leadership, just in the same way. Right. And that's probably the... Lars Nielsen (10:07.394) Yes. Lars Nielsen (10:12.364) Mm-hmm. Lars Nielsen (10:20.576) and relationships. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (10:22.084) And relationships. yeah, very well. Very well, Lars. And probably the most important lesson you learn from sales when it comes to questions, don't ask closed ended questions. So don't ask, do you have any questions on this? But rather ask what kind of questions do you have? Or which points have I not made clear enough? So that you actually get... Answers and not just a head nod or a yes or no or whatnot, right? So thank you for bringing this up. I completely forgot about it. Lars Nielsen (10:53.741) Mm-hmm. You're so welcome. Okay, Paulina, the next topic we have for today's podcast. I am looking forward to this because you just sent me the teaser on WhatsApp saying, Lars, I'm going to share a personal story. I'm going to put myself out there. So can you share a mistake you've made that in hindsight was a very important learning? Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (11:25.562) Yes, since we're talking about communication, this is obviously a communication mistake that I'm going to share. And as Lars just said, I didn't bring a story from anybody else, but this is actually a personal story from myself and probably one of the biggest communication blunders I made in my career. So that was actually... quite a few years ago was in one of my very first leadership roles. And I was promoted to a leadership role to lead the team that I previously was a member of. So I was basically now the Primoz and Tapare is within the same team that I had been hired into, which is always already kind of a delicate situation. And especially since one of my team members had also applied for the same leadership position as I had, and they were older than me. They had been in the company longer than me. They, on the operational side of things, they were more experienced than I was. But I had more leadership experience at that point already. And so I was selected to give the promotion to and not them. Um, and so it was, and I already didn't really know how to handle that situation. And I didn't really get a lot of support from my superior. And on top of that, HR took forever with the paperwork. And I'm, I'm a bit cautious when it comes to announcing a promotion before having signed a contract. because I've been burned by that before. That's another story for another time. So I didn't want to say anything or communicate anything before the paperwork was actually done. And the paperwork was done on the fifth or sixth of the month. And so basically five or six days after I was in officially promoted to the role already. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (13:28.288) and I didn't want to waste any more time. I didn't, I just wanted to get it out there. I was super nervous about taking on this role, et cetera. And yes, hello, Ego, my old friend. I also wanted to announce that I got promoted. So I communicated to my former peers pretty bluntly that I was now their boss. Lars Nielsen (13:41.002) you Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (13:50.854) And basically telling, like the situation was so shit all around, you know, because it was not just me being super blunt about it. It was also just telling them basically, oh, and by the way, you know that we had beers three days, three nights ago. I was already your boss back then. So it was, it was like, oh Jesus. It was really real shit show, honestly. Lars Nielsen (14:09.779) my god. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (14:18.476) So, yeah, not proud of that kind of communication. Definitely, very, and that's probably where my lack of empathy also comes from. It was blunt. didn't take into consideration how they were feeling, what it would do with them that their former paramour was now their, the team lead. it was just, yeah, I didn't, I didn't think about their perspective. I didn't take time to communicate it well. I didn't take them aside one by one. I can answer to the full, full team and, Just, I think about just about everything about this communication was really badly done from my end. And I paid for that. I paid for it dearly. They were really pissed off, especially the one that thought it, he, that they would get promoted instead of me. And so the entire team was really against me and they really made my life difficult because they were, they were just like trying to prove to me that I was right in the position. and it took me months to rebuild the kind of trust we had before. It took me months to make them function as a team again, as well. And, we met, managed to do it in the end, but to all. All of you out there, think if you listen to it, I think you know who I mean. I think you remember the situation as much as I do. I'm sorry. That was really bad communication and really bad leadership style. Lars Nielsen (15:47.277) You Lars Nielsen (15:53.74) That's actually why we made this podcast, because you and I can both go out and say sorry to everybody we stepped on along the way. No, think Pauline, I think one thing that I noticed, and thank you very much for sharing your story. I really love it that you and I have known each other for years now. And I love it that we actually started doing this podcast because we learned stuff about each other that we didn't know. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (15:59.372) Hahaha Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (16:21.018) Yeah. Lars Nielsen (16:21.026) So I really liked that you share these stories and being very honest about them. But one thing I noticed in... Sorry. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (16:26.394) And we do learn more about each other in every episode. So it's really strange. So I like that too. Lars Nielsen (16:32.258) yes. When we get to episode 300, it's like we know everything about each other, right? Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (16:39.782) Here's hoping. Lars Nielsen (16:42.444) No, one thing I noticed in the story, or one thing that I made a pin on is that you said you were very young, or you were younger at least, and you are very young still, so you must be really young. She just made a heart for me, for everybody just listening to the podcast. I like it. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (16:56.82) You Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (17:02.854) Which woman doesn't like to be told that she's still young when she's, when she's definitely hitting 40. Pushing 40. It's pushing 40. Lars Nielsen (17:09.324) You're so young. Yes. Yes. Yeah. You're so young still. Now back to the topic. You said that you were young when you were promoted. And I think that that is also a... And you actually, when you said it, you in the same sentence or in another sentence said, hello, ego, my old friend. Right. And I think that's also a very important learning from this that... Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (17:21.392) Mm-hmm. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (17:30.938) Mm-hmm. Lars Nielsen (17:37.216) I think that everybody, the younger you are, you are going to have more ego or less experience in life in general. So I think that if you're promoting a very young person as a manager or as a leader, I think that somebody in the company have to like coach them really, really well saying like, this is how you succeed in your role as a leader, especially if you have... people working under you that are more senior or more experienced than you are, you have to let that ego go. It is so much poison. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (18:07.014) Mm. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (18:14.924) It is, it is poison. I think, I mean, I want to take this apart a little bit because ego per se is not poison ego taken overboard as poison. And especially for young women, more ego usually is a good thing. because, but so, so, maybe let me put it this way, self-confidence and trusting in your abilities and being Lars Nielsen (18:26.85) Yeah, you're right. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (18:44.632) proud for getting promoted, etcetera. All of that is a good thing. I would never say anything against that. But with, when I say, hello, ego, my old friend, that is the part that, thrives on putting myself above others. And I think we all have this kind of, I think in psychology it's called grandiosity. We all have parts and bits of us that think and believe that we are in parts better than other people, as much as we have parts in ourselves that believe that we are less than others. And for me, the magic happens if you manage to see Lars Nielsen (19:22.978) Yeah. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (19:28.806) both the grandiosity in yourself and the inferiority in yourself. Just notice it. Notice that it's there. And then level yourself out in that area where you say, okay, I'm a human being, you're a human being. We are both the same. We are all on eye level and let's talk like we are. Lars Nielsen (19:35.628) Mm-hmm. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (19:52.196) just basic human beings and who want to bring things forward together. So take both the high notion and the low notion out of it and level out at eye level. I think that is the super crucial point when it comes to communication and yeah, just detecting your own ego as well and making sure that it doesn't harm you in any, you or any other, anyone else. Right. And Lars Nielsen (20:01.122) Mm-hmm. Lars Nielsen (20:20.426) Yeah, I need to be better at doing that. We talked about before going on the show that I can sometimes have a bit of a temper and I'm really stubborn. I think it goes with my star sign, which is Taurus, that I'm a stubborn person. And I try. I don't always succeed, but I try that when I feel that I would just want to say no to everything, that I have to stop and breathe. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (20:21.39) As you can imagine, I learned that. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (20:35.942) You Lars Nielsen (20:49.496) because I can get so stubborn and it just hurts me every time. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (20:49.766) Mm. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (20:54.072) Yeah, and that's the point, right? and I think it's very, hard to learn because you have to be very conscious of your own behavior and your own reactions and what's going on in your own world of thoughts and feelings. And let's face it, none of us is being taught how to do this unless you do extensive therapy. I also learned it the hard way. Lars Nielsen (20:56.973) Yeah. Lars Nielsen (21:09.516) Mm-hmm. Lars Nielsen (21:20.75) Hmph. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (21:23.27) But I have seen time and time again, every time I managed to do that, every time I managed to level myself out on this, between the grandiosity and the inferiority, it's really amazing and it really changes and shifts the communication and also the connection that you then can build within the communication to the person you're talking to. Lars Nielsen (21:37.603) Mm-hmm. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (21:47.426) The other point that you made that especially young leader needs support and coaching and training from their superiors is absolutely crucial. I think I said it in the very first episode that we ever made like four weeks ago. But for me, that is so, so, so basic that Lars Nielsen (22:03.63) you Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (22:13.57) a company supports young leaders in how to tackle this kind of situation. And I mean, that that's the second personal story now that I didn't plan on telling, but in my very first leadership role, I was also promoted above the person who had actually hired me as their intern. And then I became their manager within a couple of months. Lars Nielsen (22:18.795) Exactly. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (22:42.798) And that was super awkward situation for me because they were also friend of mine and I didn't, I really didn't know how to handle that. And they were really hurt. Not necessarily by me, but by the situation itself. And I didn't have the tools to make them feel better and to take away the hurt. And so yes, absolutely to every company out there. Lars Nielsen (22:57.154) Mm-hmm. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (23:09.434) help your people succeed in their role as a leader. You're not just gonna do good things for them, you're gonna do good things for your entire organization because effective leaders, effective communicators will drive your performance and will make your employees happier, give more morale. And you'll just do magic, just do it, just do it. Lars Nielsen (23:30.414) and your company would just do better in general. For everybody just worrying about stock shareholders and making money and so on, that will follow as well. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (23:33.196) Exactly. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (23:42.436) Yep. So I'll repeat, just fucking do it. Lars Nielsen (23:47.355) Do it. Did you just swear on the show again, Paulina? Yeah. I'm going to beep you out of this. Okay, Paulina, we are getting close to the end of today's episode. I'm going to ask you a question, but I'm going to twist it and say, do it the other way around. If somebody wants to ensure they fail at communication, what should they do? Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (23:50.022) Yeah I know, please remember to beep me out. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (23:58.544) you Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (24:04.548) Yes, shoot. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (24:10.36) Mm-hmm. Ooh, I love that. Okay, so first of all, blatantly ignore any feedback. Then assume that everyone understands your perspective. And thirdly, probably communicate only when absolutely necessary. Lars Nielsen (24:21.314) Check. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (24:35.27) And my newest favorite, my newest favorite because I was just confronted with something like that in my career, like from a customer, simply don't talk to your team. That's also really great. Just don't talk at all. Just communicate in writing and do so in a really, really negative way. That'll do the trick. Lars Nielsen (24:37.495) Mm-hmm. Lars Nielsen (24:56.398) And for everybody that just jumped to this section of the podcast, we are kidding. Do it the other way around. Okay, Paulina, we are getting to the end. So just to sum up, clear messaging, empathy, and active listening are essential for avoiding communication disasters. So remember, communication isn't just about talking. It's about being understood. Yes. As always, Paulina, great pleasure. Thank you very much for sharing your own story and your expertise. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (25:26.54) yes. Lars Nielsen (25:36.738) The listeners out there want to communicate with you or connect with you and so on. Where can they find you and where can they find the Culture Code Foundation? Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (25:46.144) Yes. So you can find my company at culturecodefoundation.com and you can follow us on LinkedIn and me personally, you can also follow on Instagram. Lars is trying to get me to do TikTok as well, but it's going to take me a bit of time. Remember I'm pushing 40. So, but for sure thing is I'm personally really, really passionate about. Lars Nielsen (26:00.695) yeah. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (26:12.618) helping companies build healthy communication cultures. I'm passionate about helping individuals get better at leading or at, yeah, also just navigating work life. so happy to hear your stories, either DM me or Lars, or yeah, I would love to hear your story and share it in this podcast. Lars Nielsen (26:39.584) And for everybody, we are going to link to all channels, websites and so on in the show notes. So just click DM us. We are very passionate about this and we are going to be keeping you anonymous throughout everything if you want to share your story and we appreciate that. And remember, as always, give a thumbs up to the podcast, give it a five star rating. And also if you have any feedback. Positive or negative, just DM us and we'll be happy to hear from you. Thank you everybody for listening. Paulina von Mirbach-Benz (27:16.24) Thank you so much everyone. Talk to you next week.